Link wants to partay but he can't
by Mako6
Summary: ocarina of time, Link is a partier and the girls r all skanks etc


Welcome, folkz. This is the true tale of the Legend of Zelda. Where Zelda is a skank, Malon is a skank, Ruto is...well a skank and Link just wants to party while Navi spouts out Robinesque catch phrases. But everyone wants Link to save the world. All this and much more, especially if you know how to read...shuttup of course I know how to read...bitch  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda, kapishe? (rhymes with quiche)  
The young boy-hero, Link lies asleep in his bed. He was up late the last night partying with his slut friend Saria and his drunken rival Mido. Boy was he hung over. His sleep was plagued with dreams, as those of hung over people commonly are. His head will hurt viciously when he wakes up. So much for mixing tequila with Vodka.  
  
ELSEWHERRE (spelled with 2 r's cuz its popular nowadays to do that)  
  
Deku Tree: Navi, where fore art thou, I dun see too good...  
  
Navi: I'm here, Deku Tree!  
  
Deku Tree: EH?? Speak up, Billy  
  
Navi: ....navi......  
  
Deku Tree: OH...ok billy. Anyways you need to go and get the boy of prophecy because I'm tired of him graffitiing me when he's drunk. He also needs to stop banging up the girl Kokiris, theres a population problem as it is.  
  
Navi: I'll do my best, Great, Mighty Deku Tree! (wot a brown noser)  
  
Deku Tree: EH?!  
  
Navi: *sigh * never mind.  
  
So Navi flies through the forest, accidentally rushing through a smoke cloud of the forest weed a random Kokiri was smoking. Getting suddenly very high, Navi runs straight into the fence. She straightens herself up and runs into it again. This goes on for about 20 minutes until a well timed wind accidentally sends Navi through the hole.  
  
Navi: HEEE HEE HEE HEE *gasp * EEEEE  
  
Link: *snore * stoopid pigs *scratch scratch *  
  
Navi: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!! *passes out and wakes up again * WOAH HUGE ACID TRIP WOOOOOAH COLORS!!!  
  
Link: *groan * shut up... *throws pillow which smashes Navi into a wall *  
  
Navi: urk...  
  
Link: *sits up, clutching his noggin * ouch...my head...but still *grins * some party last night. Man me and Saria were like-  
  
C. Moogle *makes triumphant return * HEEEEY I'M GONNA MAKE LOUD NOISES UNTIL LINK STOPS TALKING!!! *looks behind him and Link is asleep again * ah...later kidz. *exeunt *  
  
Navi: wooooooah...HEYLINKLOOKLISTENHEYLOOKLISTENLOOK  
  
Link: Owwwww my head...shut up will you  
  
Navi: Ohhhh Link a terrible thing has happened and Hyrule is in danger! The great and evil wizard Ganondorf has...  
  
Link (pouring a huge bowl of cereal and not listening): Uh huh uh huh....  
  
Navi: ...and you must stop his evil or hyrule is doomed!  
  
Link (eats cereal): mmmmmmm  
  
Navi: Whatever...  
  
Link: sooooo...why are you here?  
  
Navi (sigh): just go to the Deku Tree  
  
Link: Is this about the graffiti cuz I didn't do it...  
  
Navi: Just go....  
  
Link: K ^__^  
  
Navi: And don't make that face  
  
Link: Aw gee whiz Navi.  
  
Navi: K lets blast  
  
Link: Whatevah  
  
Navi: Blasting beginnings, Batman-I mean Link!  
  
Link:....douche  
  
So they arrive at the opening  
  
Mido: Dude, what happened last night?  
  
Link: Um well you got no play, if that's what you mean.  
  
Mido: Damn...well you can't pass  
  
Link: Why?  
  
Mido: Cuz I'm bitter. Get a sword and shield......stupid girl stealer  
  
Navi: Rocketing requirements, Link!  
  
Link (not in mood for arguing): *yawns * whatever  
  
Link finds the hole in the wall  
  
Link (reading): Hole of "Z". What the hell?  
  
Navi: Guess you go through it  
  
Link: But what kind of name is that?  
  
Navi: I dunno  
  
Link (grumbling and whining, crawls through hole): Stupid hole of "Z"  
  
Hole of "Z": Heyyy!  
  
Link:O_o uhhhhh  
  
Link runs along and is smashed by the boulder  
  
Navi: Rolling Rocks Link!  
  
Link: Grumble grumble  
  
Link finally reaches the sword  
  
Link: Hooray!!! (gets sword)  
  
Navi: Kinda small, isn't it  
  
Link (defensively): Hey it's a good size, damnit!  
  
Navi: No, not that.....never mind  
  
They go to the shop  
  
Shop owner: Hey, wuzzup bro. Some party last night eh?  
  
Link: heh heh heh-AHEM. Do you sell shields here, old boy?  
  
Shop Owner: WHAT do I look like? A shop owner  
  
Crickets: Chirp chirp chirp  
  
Navi: Corrosive crickets, Link!  
  
Link: Oh shuttup.  
  
Shop Owner: Yah, here have the shield. I don't want it anyways. HUMPH  
  
Link: YAY (Brandishes his USELESS WOODEN SHIELD)  
  
Navi: alright lets blast  
  
Link: Blast? Whatever *exeunt stage left *  
  
BACK at the ranch-er at the entrance to the deku tree  
  
Mido: You suck, I'm gonna go lie down.  
  
Link: Eat, cereal, it helps.  
  
Mido: Whatever...  
  
Link: and don't use my line  
  
Mido: Psh  
  
Link and Navi enter to find.  
  
Deku Tree: Is that you Billy?!  
  
Navi: Uhhh, sure  
  
Deku Tree: Do you have the kid with you?  
  
Navi: Dude, you can see fine  
  
Deku Tree: No, my eyebrows are in the way. Anyways. *boring speech ensues *  
  
Deku Tree: Understand? GAH!!  
  
Link (spray painting I heart Saria's ass on the Deku tree): WHAT?!  
  
Navi: Viscious vandalism, Link!  
  
Deku Tree: WHatever, just break the curse.  
  
Link: *sigh * fiiiiine. 


End file.
